What if
by dobbyfan18
Summary: A collection of.... interesting questions I've come up with. I'll try to put up their corresponding fics soon.
1. Introduction

What if....  
  
Dobby had a cell phone?  
  
Hogwarts had a pizza party?  
  
Scooby-Doo suddenly attacked Malfoy?  
  
Christina Aguilera were a Death Eater?  
  
St. MungoÕs was invaded by donkeys?  
  
Just some interesting questions IÕve come up with....no offense to those of you who are Christina Aguilera fans. ;-) Stay tuned for a fic about each of those situations...promising, donÕt you think?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned above -- no, I don't have a cell phone, either! 


	2. If Dobby had a cell phone

Disclaimer: I donÕt own Dobby (no matter how much I wish I did). I also donÕt own a cell phone, nor do I own any other Harry Potter characters that I mention in here -- unless thereÕs an astric (*) next to them; that means I created them. If thereÕs two astrics (**) by it, that means I borrowed them from somebody else.  
  
If Dobby had a cell phone....  
  
He would probably order socks day in and day out. I donÕt know if they would be t.v. order or not, but I feel sure he would. Also, he might not be able to use the cell phone properly, so he could turn it on by accident. Anyway, between ordering socks and accidents, Dobby would probably be broke within a month. HereÕs a fic about DobbyÕs first day with his cell phone.   
  
Dobby woke up that morning and started. He was in front of the fireplace in the Hogwarts kitchens. He supposed he had fallen asleep right there instead of in the elvesÕ sleeping quarters where he usually slept. Dobby leapt up, winced (he had a cramp from sleeping slumped against the hearth), and was about to hurry to his eternal morning job of frying the bacon when he realized that something was clunking against the sweater that Wheezy had given him.  
  
Dobby immediately looked down, and to his great surprise and delight, found the cell phone that kind Miss Granger had given him the day before. He now remembered why he had fallen asleep in front of the fire --- he had been experimenting with his new phone, which Miss Granger had charmed so that it worked inside Hogwarts. The bacon could wait, Dobby decided, he wanted to watch for the delivery of the socks he had ordered. One pair should be vivid purple, with a pattern of tangerines, another was solid navy blue but for the pink bands around the ankles, and the last was covered in dancing chickens that really moved.  
  
With the promise of socks to help him along, Dobby scurried up to the entrance hall, bowing to Professor Vector as they passed. There he sat for several hours until an owl swooped in through a conveniently open window. It was carrying a lumpy parcel wrapped in brown paper, which Dobby ripped open excitedly as the owl flew out through said window. He was greeted by several dancing hens wearing top hats. He lifted that pair of socks out of the paper gingerly so as to admire the other pairs. Then, coming out of his trance and remembering that he was supposed to be helping to make breakfast, he hurried back to the kitchens, pulling on the tangerine-patterned pair as he went.  
  
Dobby arrived in the kitchens several minutes later, out of breath but happy. The other elves were already setting the golden platters on the enchanted tables, and he hastened to help them. He normally enjoyed working, but today he positively beamed as he set jugs of pumpkin juice on the tables at regular intervals. He was planning on making some calls later.  
  
A/N: Well? Was it pathetic? Was it astounding? Tell me what you think by reviewing or at: dobbyfan18@msn.com I might continue DobbyÕs story later if I finish all the other ridiculous ideas. 


	3. If Hogwarts had a pizza party

Disclaimer: I donÕt own Hogwarts, or the idea of pizza parties. J. K. Rowling owns Hogwarts, and I donÕt know who owns pizza parties. I also donÕt own any Hogwarts characters I use in here. I just write very odd stories about them while IÕm waiting for the next book.  
  
If Hogwarts had a pizza party:  
  
I feel sure havoc would be the ruler. This story is set in HarryÕs day, although the concept of one involving the Marauders and Lily is also quite inviting; I might come back to that. Anyway, hereÕs my fic about a pizza party at Hogwarts. (It isnÕt really HermioneÕs POV, but itÕs like, the way things happened for her.)  
  
Hermione (or Hermy, if you happened to be Grawp) slid down the chute that was usually the stairs leading to the girlsÕ dormitories. She didnÕt know which boy had tried to get up there, but then again, she didnÕt really care.  
  
(A/N: This is supposed to be set during third year, but I just couldnÕt resist adding that thing about Grawp.)  
  
ÒHermyÓ climbed out through the portrait hole to get some breakfast before Transfiguration. Once in the Great Hall, she found a seat across from a very disturbed Neville (he had just gotten his Howler). She grabbed a piece of toast and began spreading jam on it, listening to Harry and RonÕs conversation next to her. Just as they were getting involved in a mild argument about Mrs. Norris and Filch (ÒHeÕs a SQUIB, Ron, thereÕs just no way he can be mentally connected to a cat!Ó), Dumbledore stood up in the middle of the staff table.   
  
Ron paused with his mouth open; whether to continue the argument or to take another bite of his kippers, no one ever found out. Dumbledore addressed a rather bemused student body. He never gave announcements at breakfast, what was going on? Was he just trying something new, or was it something so urgent it couldnÕt wait, something about Sirius Black? (A/N: WAAAAAAH!) As it happened, it was neither.  
  
ÒIn light of recent eventsÓ --- Dumbledore glanced at the Gryffindor table --- Òthe staff and I have decided to hold a pizza party at Hogwarts.Ó  
  
There was a large amount of muttering at this --- rather a lot of it was probably Muggle-borns and half-bloods explaining what a pizza party was to their pureblood friends --- but when Dumbledore cleared his throat   
  
(A/N: *__* Sorry to interrupt, but I was just struck by an overwhelming urge to say that Dumbledore cleared his stoat, and I knew if I actually put it in, it would be kind of confusing, so...)  
  
it died down immediately. Dumbledore continued, ÒAs this will be an informal occasion, I do not request that the ordinary rules are followed. You will be allowed to sit with friends in other houses, or do anything else that strikes your fancy. I only ask that no pizzas are thrown --- or levitated --- and no curses are inflicted. The pizza party will be on Saturday at noon, in place of lunch.Ó  
  
This time the muttering didnÕt stop.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Yes, I know this doesnÕt even START the real event. You see, I was nearly done when I left to do something else and when I came back everything past the ÔA/NÕ about Sirius was gone! I couldnÕt remember what I had, so [:,-(] thisÕll have to be continued once I get my train of thought back on its tracks. SORRY!!! 


End file.
